1. How much everyone else sucks at everything because they are not like us.
For real though, why do they even try?
2. How petty and pathetic and silly and totally not problems everyone else's "problems" are.
FOR SERIAL! Do they even know how pathetic they sound?
3. How little everyone else understands how unique our particular challenges are.
They have no idea because they are different than we are and also stupid.
4. How amazingly difficult our lives are in totally unique ways.
Like, really! No one else understands because they just haven't been there, you know?
5. How fucking amazingly, overwhelmingly genius-tastic we are.
They should totally step aside and let us do all the things we want to and do all of the things we don't want to.
6. How amazing we are. Like, seriously, we rock so hard and everyone else doesn't even understand.
Dance party for how awesomer we are than everyone else!
7. How special we are in ways that other people are not, unless they are like us.
Because we know we rock and are totally different from everyone else in every way that is really important. They're all so pedestrian they would've used "The Rock" clapping here.
8. How we are totally special snowflakes who are certainly not seeking every piece of substandard uniqueness to firmly grasp as we inexorably drift toward death and the fact that history will inevitably forget us and render our lives essentially meaningless in the wide swath of the human race, much less so the vast span of natural life, which is itself mostly imperceptible in the great cosmic flurry of the universe.
Move along Debbie Downer! No denial here!
9. How we totally don't engage in meta-criticism of cultural phenomenon that we find vapid for the sole purpose of staving off and ignoring our own casual engorgement in and of consumer media, thereby providing a smug, momentary solace from the terrifying fact we are also a part of the problem.
Totes not the case.
2. How petty and pathetic and silly and totally not problems everyone else's "problems" are.
FOR SERIAL! Do they even know how pathetic they sound?
3. How little everyone else understands how unique our particular challenges are.
4. How amazingly difficult our lives are in totally unique ways.
Like, really! No one else understands because they just haven't been there, you know?
5. How fucking amazingly, overwhelmingly genius-tastic we are.
6. How amazing we are. Like, seriously, we rock so hard and everyone else doesn't even understand.
7. How special we are in ways that other people are not, unless they are like us.
8. How we are totally special snowflakes who are certainly not seeking every piece of substandard uniqueness to firmly grasp as we inexorably drift toward death and the fact that history will inevitably forget us and render our lives essentially meaningless in the wide swath of the human race, much less so the vast span of natural life, which is itself mostly imperceptible in the great cosmic flurry of the universe.
9. How we totally don't engage in meta-criticism of cultural phenomenon that we find vapid for the sole purpose of staving off and ignoring our own casual engorgement in and of consumer media, thereby providing a smug, momentary solace from the terrifying fact we are also a part of the problem.
